i don’t know what to say.

 

i feel different after 12th jan.

i didn’t get the i-should-have-worked-harder kind of feeling but instead, i’m happy yet a little heartbroken. yea i know it sounds crazy.

i was utterly amazed by my improvement. being called on stage to receive special mention by the school was great. i rmbed the time when i witnessed the previous batch of sec fours receive their results,  names were being flashed on screen and students were called on stage, i promised i would do my best.

i did                    yay! Praise the Lord!

but getting the result slip thereafter hurt alot. not because i was overwhelmed by the joy earlier, but because i didn’t do as well as i expected.

disappointed? Truly, surely and most sincerely.

maybe i expected too high. yea it should be that case. what can a 200+ poor psle scorer expect to get. the school targetted a 18 point mark for me and of course, scoring better than that perked me. but….

but..lots of buts i know. i don’t know what to say.

all is well. i’m ready for my new jc life! who cares whether i go to a good jc or not. afterall, God knows what’s best for me and since i’ve made my choice, i will cherish it.

To someone:

i know you’re good to me, friend. but i’d love a real you. are you really one who comes and goes? i can’t find you when i need your shoulders.

once in awhile, i seriously need to let go what i’ve been bottling inside. cause it pains. and it’s scientifically provened as unhealthy boo.

i feel different after 12th jan, i repeat.

because i realised that i may not be the smartest, the coolest, the prettiest, the funniest, the nicest, the richest whatsoever, i’m jolynkhoobeiwen and there’s only ONE of me in this world. so i’ll continue my life journey, holding your hand, giving you a peace out, sharing a hug and neverending greetings of “how are you”. so one day, if you hear my name, i hope you’ll say, “hey that’s my friend!”

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